Yesterday saw the season finale of the American Football program. Most of the country celebrates the occasion with ritual drinking and consuming mass quantities of alcohol and grease-laden snacks. There is also a snobbery aspect regarding the drinking of brewed beverages and whether they arrive in glass containers or metal containers.
Today, being the day after the celebration, those who hosted the rituals are left with various debris to be disposed of. And of course, there are always an enterprising Sparky out there with a really cool idea.
30 broken beer bottles
condition: borked
make / manufacturer: rolling rock
model name / number: greeni broke 30 beer bottles by smashing them on concrete. they fit better in my trashcan that way. i figured one of you weird art kids might want them for aesthetic or to like glue to your windows or something. i admit, it’s rolling rock, shameful, i know. but it was 5.99 for 6 beers and they taste like cheap heineken. below i’ve pictured the bottles swept into various cat arrangements. also my mom tried to ground me for doing this on her patio. i’m 26. that doesnt take away from the quality of the broken bottles, i just thought it was funny.
This is a young Sparky, still living with mom. I applaud Mom for grounding him. She should have ground the broken glass into his Cheetos. Maybe she can’t make it down the basement stairs.
Thanks O glorious Pioneers of Snark, Llama-nun and Ostrimu for forwarding this one. And Madeline for submitting it just a bit too late to You Suck at Craigslist.
C’mon Mom…..lighten up! At least your son didn’t sweep the pieces of glass into pornographic shapes….although if you squint your eyes real hard that picture on the right kinda looks like, uh, nevermind……(little pervert)
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The real reason she’s upset is because this is what he chooses to do with the first time he touches the broom since dropping out of community college and promising he’d only move back home until his 21st birthday.
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What are you talking about? He admittedly shaped them into 2 pussies. (So where’s the corner in the new lounge?)
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Corner?….no corner for you, Lou…..it’s the Lou stoop for you……
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Just past the bbq grill, next to the potty.
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Thirty broken bottles of beer on my porch,
Thirty broken bottles of beer.
Sweep them into a cat-like shape,
And still, no one’s stupid enough to fall for this
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This Sparky is a pane in the glass.
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I can see the image of a cat in the picture on the right. It looks like a cyclops cat, but still a cat. The picture on the left looks liike a bunch of broken glass swept into an amorphous pile. Maybe it’s like one of those Magic Eye 3-d things that hit their popularity several years ago and have since slid to the nostalgia shelf of anybody still selling them. Or maybe it’s an attempt to call to mind Dali’s or Picasso’s style.
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This is a case that disproves the old adage “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” The statement here is “one man’s trash is just plain trash.”
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Yes, please let me have your unwashed and smelly broken pieces of nasty beer bottles. It’s not like I could buy clean pieces of glass or make my own broken pieces of glass. I mean how would I ever find anything made of glass that I could make sure was clean and didn’t smell like a drunken frat boy?
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Translation of ad – “I got really drunk off of cheap beer, broke a bunch of bottles because I was drunk, am trying to convince my mom that I did it for the aesthetic, and am far too lazy to actually throw away the broken glass.”
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“Børk! Børk! Børk!”
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Silly OMV, It was already borked.
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Sparky had some beer and it was a gas
Then he tried to make some art of glass
It seemed like a good idea at the time
Until Sparky’s mom whupped his behind
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Far be it from me* to criticize Sparky’s artistic endeavors, but the first picture is clearly an Italian Greyhound.
*like that’s gonna stop me
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