Post 74: Onces Upon a Time

Today on WTF Sparkyville, we are going to play our favorite game, Guess What Sparky Means! Here are three examples of the word onces. We are not going to debate if it’s a word or not. That would be too much like work. No, we are going to read these ads and figure out what the word means in Sparkyville. Ready?

Example 1

.925 silver sterling shoulder handbag with hundle – $1079 (oldest coast)

a new silver sterling handbag purse with detachable long snake chain hundle .it measures 3.75 high .wide 6 .weights 8.6 onces.from morocco

Sorry, there’s no photo with that one. Example 2

Wanting to help a family out (Messy)

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PLEASE Read it all before calling texting or email. I will work on pricing. Looking to watch one or two kids a week. Hoping to find a little 1or2 to add as part of our family and help out another family. Any age we are willing to welcome I’m a stay at home mom age 23 my boyfriend works for jack rabbit road side age 33 with a 1 yr old boy 3 yr old girl and 9year old step daughter 3-5days a week after school and every other weekend. Willing to work on pricing I’m not wanting to do this to become rich I want to welcome a new little one/onces to our family to help yours out. as I now child care can cost a lot. We do have a dog big old baby most of the time is sleeping in my room and when he is out my little onces are all over him. We do have a pet rat. We have lots of toys from cozy truck, play kitchen, baby swing, little play house, Legos, and much much more!!!! We live in a house with a brick fenced backyard. I have love I can share with some more kids I can watch at anytime day or night. Bring them along with whatever my family dose we do a lot of park time going on hikes walk around the mall pick up my 9 yr old from school,my 3 yr old goes to pre school I drop off and pick up so it’s just my little guy most of the day hopping to find a family that needs my help. some times go out to eat, so with that being said I will be DRIVING as I will welcome them as my own family. My family is always doing something it may not be every day but we do something every few days. my cross roads are Gilbert and Broadway hope to hear back from you text or call

That’s the best wall o’ text I have seen in a week. And finally, this. Example 3

FREE ROCK / FILL (Keen – West Shill)

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Free rock from small to large onces and dirt. I live in Keen, please call or text me for address. You haul.

Choose one of the following answers: a. Onces are units of weight 2. Onces are little critters iii. Onces come in different sizes D. None of the above Thanks, OMV, for the submissions.

8 thoughts on “Post 74: Onces Upon a Time

    • Back in the day, (as the overused saying goes) Gypsies used to wander the countryside in their horse-drawn caravans looking for naive folks to scam, children to kidnap, and general mayhem to commit upon innocent suckers….but they’ve now entered the age of technology… they use Craigslist.

      ” I went down to the crossroads…fell down on my knees…
      Asked the Lord above for mercy….take me if you please….”

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yup, that’s how I read Sparky 2’s ad. “I’d like to kidnap a child or two but it just seems too efforty to drive around in a van offering candy so I thought I’d try Craigslist, that way I can have the kids delivered.”

        Liked by 3 people

  1. I had two onces once. One once was bigger than the other once. So when I tried to use both onces at the same time, they never came out even. The bigger once would sink more in the sand, then the smaller once would start running around in circles instead of going straight.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay. All three of those ads were put together with those kits of magnetic words you get to stick on fridges. Apparently using a combination of the Shakespearean kit and the Sparky’s Special Imaginary Words kit.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Forget the onces. I’ve been looking for a snake hundle, but #1 is a bit pricey.
    Whatever the family dose is of Sparky #2, it needs to be adjusted.
    And Sparky #3 has a strange idea of “large” onces. Maybe if he waters them they’ll grow into bolders.

    Liked by 2 people

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