Post 267: It’s Not Polite to Stair

Have you ever bought a house, only to discover there was not way to get into or out of the place? I’ll bet the first thing you did was turn to Craigslist, right? I mean, after you sued the former owner who made off with the elevated walkway and possibly the realtor who didn’t notice, either. Lucky for you, if you live in Canada, help is available.

Free concrete stairs

post-267-stairs

Free concrete stairs 59 inches wide
height is approx 2 ft on the top landing
length approx 64 inches

Wait, now, aren’t those attached to that house? What’s going to happen when the new owner of that house finds out there are no stairs? Oh, this could be one of those scams where you keep getting your own stairs back. Or did I dream it? Thanks, NinjaChow, wonderful surreal Sparky-ness.

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4 thoughts on “Post 267: It’s Not Polite to Stair

  1. That’s about three tons of concrete there Sparky; can you help throw it in the back of a pickup? An old skateboard might get it to the curb.

    It’s probably easier to move in pieces, but the dynamite would disturb the garden.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dang, Ralph is so close I had to check the math–I’m getting 6883 pounds, 3.4 short tons (3.12 metric tonnes in Canadia).

    However, no, they are not attached to the house (not mechanically, I cannot speak to whatever bonds of affection there might be).

    In my old house, I did have rather a similar relationship with the similarly-sized front stoop. Mine had decided to sink on the house side, which not only made an awkward first steo, but also pitched water back into the (open) crawlspace.
    I really wanted it gone so I could replace it with a front porch. But, it was also the main ingress and egress for the house.

    I miss my rickety old house , now long gone to the landfill. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Note: This may be my shortest short story ever. It may also not be the only one based on this post, but don’t hold me to that.

    “Upstairs/Downstairs”

    “It’ll be good exercise,” Flump had thought to himself. Forcing himself to climb in and out of the house as a means to start or end any given trip to or from his home with a wee bit of cardio seemed like such a pretty good idea, as he knew he could stand to lose some weight. However, he lacked the discipline to trust himself with sticking to any sort of voluntary exercise regimen, so he had the idea of making some changes that forced the issue. One of those changes was giving away his front steps, which he had just done the previous evening. It really did seem like a good idea –at least until he woke up late for work this morning. And so, as burgeoning consciousness chased the darkness away, bringing with it the sensation of pain to his head and the taste of dirt to his mouth, he realized that that it was going to take bit of getting used to not having stairs anymore.

    Arbie regained consciousness to find himself a face-down, crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs, his left arm pinned painfully under his stomach in an awkward position, and goose eggs forming on both the front and back of his head. He had always wanted stairs. He couldn’t explain why, really, he just always liked the idea of having stairs to walk up or down in order to get into or out of his home. It just didn’t quite feel like a home, somehow, if you just walked out your front door to find you were already at ground level, so when Arbie saw someone just giving away just the sort of stairs he wanted, he jumped at the opportunity. Unfortunately, as Arbie contemplated the least painful way to get back on his feet again,having learned a lesson in the hardest way possible, he realized he was probably going to have to dig some sort of downward grade so he could install his new stairs in such a way that his head still fit under the door frame.

    Liked by 2 people

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