Friends of mine have just moved to Wellington, New Zealand. They are living the life of ease there, with all the sheep that they could eat just outside their door. They escaped before we knew the outcome of the recent election, the lucky bums.

So I thought what sort of ads would I find in the Auckland, NZ, Craigslist. Well, that was huge failure. NO free curb alerts. NO garage sales. Under events, just a wide variety of recreational drugs. Then I checked “beauty services”.

Pussy Care (erotic – in your home)

Do you worry that your pussy is not getting the loving attention that it deserves.
This is a service available for woman of all ages, sizes and situations.

Have a mature and experienced Kiwi guy come around and care for your pussy.

Lie back and let yourself be treated like a lady.
I can give your pussy a nice warm wash. You can have me trim your pussy and let my fingers massage your pussy, or have my tongue provide a special touch. You let me know what you would like and I will oblige.

This is a service ALL ABOUT YOU … to make you feel special.

Email now to arrange.

I dunno, Kiwi Sparky. My cat isn’t particularly into washes or trimming. And I think watching you lick her would be gross. And how does that make ME feel special? I certainly don’t find that erotic. The mysteries of New Zealand.