Hello, Friends! You know in these tough economic times that your children, your beloved offspring, the fruit of your damaged condoms, might be with you for a long, long time. And the longer they are with you, the more likely they will be with you for more years to come.

A very long, long time, indeed. Well, if you can get rid of a rusted boat hull on Craigslist, why not try to unload that mini-you freeloader?

Free! 26 y.o. employed debt-free college grad

condition: good

make / manufacturer: American Citizen
model name / number: Male
size / dimensions: 26 years old

I can’t take it anymore. Someone, anyone please relieve me from the above referenced well educated, well traveled, well-employed, debt-free male college graduate.

Cooking, laundry, vacuuming (Meile canister style,) after dinner clean-ups are just a few of his talents, but he also excels at arrogance, stubbornness, and a single-minded skill at eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s in one sitting.

Good with dogs. Allergic to cats. Eats fish raw. We just won’t discuss his thing about turtles, ok?

I’ve done the first 26 years, I’m now looking for someone to handle the next.

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure…

Help. Please. He’s free. And free is good.

Now I want to know about the turtles. Hope it’s Ninja Turtles! That would actually be a selling point. A few photos would help, too. Thanks, Ralph, and if you decide to take advantage of this deal, let us know about the turtles.