I’m open to suggestions on this one. Sparky lives in the mountains of New Hampshire and managed to avoid that new-fangled learnin’. Or he took the state motto of Live Free or Die to heart and is totally free of books and computers. NH is The Granite State because of folks like this whose heads are, apparently, made from stone.
Your guesses are as good as mine. Put them in the comments.
free staf electronic furnicer ([Ish] nh)
[XXXlocation] ave
free staf furnicer electronic and more [street] and [location] ave [ish] nh
No photos. Ralph sent this in almost a year ago, along with some very nice others, but I didn’t get around to them in time to save the attached pictures. I need to find a solutions to that. But this one didn’t have photos so there you are. As Ralph said and I stole for the title, “Thy odd and thy staf, they confront me.” Thanks for this and all the great submissions.
Welcome To Fabulous Sparkyville 
All I’m getting is Neu’anhg’lahnda voice- to-text transliteration.
I believe Spark wants us to know that they have “stuff” which includes electronics and funiture, which is meant to be vended gratis.
Which may be an excellent example of why you should stop chewing your sugar maple bough before dictating a CL ad at Siri.
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The staff, held captive
Wants, as all do, its freedom
Furnicer forbids.
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Fah sell ha, ayup
Ah theys hah, all’t y’see
Pep’richk fahms ayup.
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Onward Syrup soldiers
Thy stuff an’ furnicer, electronic
Leading ohn behfar.
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“staf furnicer electronic” – I had one once, but the leg fell off.
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I hope you didn’t get a staf infection.
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We are such staf
As beans are made on, and our little pile
Is mounded in a heap. Sir, I am vex’d;
Bear with my weakness; my, brain is troubled….
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Okay, I have been reading way too many Craigslist ads, I got the translation right away: “Free stuff, electronics, furniture.” And now, I’m just going to go crawl into a corner, pull a blanket over my head and weep softly into my coffee slice.
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