Post 367: Carl

On Craigslist, there is a section called Best-of-Craigslist. Readers of Craigslist nominate ads for this section. So of course, some folks write up an ad with an eye to snagging a nomination. Therefore silliness often abounds in these ads, on purpose.

Or, perhaps, there really is a pet couch named Carl. It’s up to you, believe it or not.

(T)he Life and Times of Carl C. Couch – $1

This is Carl.

Carl is more than a couch, he is my friend. I rescued him about 3 years ago from a local couch shelter, and we have been together ever since.

Carl was the youngest in a family of 6 couches, so he was naturally overlooked by his parents. When I found him, he was barely a love seat. But with proper care and nutrition, he has grown to be the full size (7ft long, 3.5ft wide) couch you see today.

Unfortunately, while I was away at work one day, Carl got into a fight with a feral recliner chair that roams my neighborhood. Carl was not seriously hurt, but does have a dent in his frame on the left side (see pics). It’s barely noticeable, and Carl made a full recovery, going on to live a full rich life that every couch deserves.

I was going to sell Carl, but he and I agreed that a couch from such humble beginnings should start his next chapter of his life just as inauspiciously. He only wants to go to a home where he can continue to be sat on. He’s a simple couch with simple wants and needs. I admire Carl for his humility and his refreshing candor.

Carl does get along with other furniture and children very well, but since Carl is from a child free and smoke free home, I would recommend supervision at first. Just to be sure that its going to be a good fit.

Sadly, Carl wasn’t always such a good egg. Because of some ongoing DUI litigation, Carl is currently unable to drive. Please don’t judge him by his past, as we all make mistakes. Unfortunately this does mean that you will have to come get Carl from my south [ish] apartment. He loves riding in the back of pickup trucks while blasting Luke Bryan and letting the breeze flow over his armrests. He is such a free spirit.

So if you meet the requirements (owning or having access to a truck and the ability to come get Carl today), you could be sitting on Carl’s beautiful faux leather by tonight. But please, only take Carl if you can give him the love and attention a 3 year old couch needs.If you’re not an attentive and responsible furniture owner, Carl isn’t for you.

Pretty good spelling, punctuation, and thought-out story. One Moving Violation sent this in with the following notation: “Where’s Carl?” (quote from “The Sitting Dead”) Good question and good ad. We may never know the answer.


5 thoughts on “Post 367: Carl

  1. Because of login problems with WordPress, this might appear twice.
    Wish I could’ve seen the fight between Carl and the feral recliner. I wonder if the triangle imprint in the carpet is all that’s left of the chair.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Without the FBI I may need a housecarl, but not a house Carl, especially one with “faux leather.” Save the baby Naugas!


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