Post 538: I Can Make You a Man

Selling all the tools that made me a man… 😦

 

Bought a home in 2009ish. Remodeled it in 2014ish in preparation to sell it. I KNEW for certain my wife was an absolute keeper when she went out and bought man-toys; then promptly rolled up her sleeves and ended up doing the lion’s share of the remodeling while I was at work. Fast forward to current… now we’re in a home that requires no remodeling; and we’ve decided that the space in our garage is more valuable than the tools that defined my masculinity. They’ve literally been sitting- unused and unloved- for over two years. Each tool is functional. Below is a list of what we’re offloading:
1) Ryobi DP101 10″ benchtop drill press. ***SOLD***
2) Table Saw ***SOLD***
3) DeWalt DW7232 Miter Saw Stand and DeWalt DW713 Miter Saw. ***$300***
5). Mini Lathe ***SOLD***
I’m not the epitome of “tool knowledge,” so if you have questions keep them simple and use small words. We just bought tools we needed to do the job. As soon as a tool sells, I’ll delete it from this posting; so as long as it’s listed, it’s still not sold.
Prices are firm. I’m not interested in trading services. I don’t want my garage floor epoxied or a brick of Oregon’s finest marijuana or my trees trimmed; and I certainly am not interested in taking a child off your hands for a tool or two. Please don’t show up and ask me to take a hit or to offer a discount. Please don’t make things awkward by telling me, “Oh, you wanted X-amount for this? Shoot, all I have is this lesser amount. Will you take it instead..?” because I’d hate to send you away empty-handed, all bent out of shape and upset at ME because YOU were hoping to shave a few bucks off of an already low price.
Cash only.

Only a Miter Saw stands between Sparky and the loss of his manly bits. I think I read that on the Darwin Awards. If the tools made him a man, his haggling skills make him a super hero. Thanks, One, great catch. As you said, “I hear this in the voice of Patrick Warburton.”

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7 thoughts on “Post 538: I Can Make You a Man

  1. As soon as a tool sells, I’ll delete it from this posting; so as long as it’s listed, it’s still not sold.

    Why do you still have the tools marked as sold listed? Are your sold tools still for sale?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Each tool is functional”

    But what if I’m disfunctional? Can I use functional tools, or do I need to go to a disfunctional tool store?
    (I don’t want to name names.)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, you are a man because your wife bought tools and used them herself to remodel your home.

    I hope this doesn’t define all men. I want to be a man, but I’m not married to a tool wielding woman ready to do my remodeling.

    Liked by 1 person

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