548: You Feed It, It’s Yours

This week we are spotlighting Do Work For Me ads. It’s the American Way!

Friends, sometimes Sparky needs to tell us the whole story on why this ad had to be posted. Pull up a comfy chair and read along.

Help needed releasing semi-pet cat from council trap in neighbours yar
I need somebody who has a soft spot for animals to help me, my shithead neighbour who needs to mind his own fucking business and get a life has called the council and set up traps in his yard and it’s trapped the poor half blind old community cat that wouldn’t hurt a fly all it does is walk thru his yard to get to mine to get a scrap of food for the day then he leaves again. Anyway it’s one way where he’s going in not a humane way and if I go over there and jump the fence to let him out he’ll have me arrested I’ve already had two screaming matches with the cruel heartless prick today so fingers crossed if there’s ANYONE out there that doesn’t give a rats arse about him calling the cops (well if he doesn’t know who you are he can’t do shit can he, I just can’t have any police record or else I’ll lose my job and my career which I kinda need to pay the bills for my rescue animals’ food!) and has a heart and compassion for animals that can help me I’d be forever grateful and it’s good karma points lol

Ha ha ha! I jump the fence, let the cat out, get arrested for trespassing, and the cat wanders back into the trap the next day. Crazy plan but it might just work. Or we could plant a Man Trap in the yard and send the shithead neighbor on a one-way trip. But I think the police will really object to that.

I’m thinking you need to offer at least a month’s worth of cat food to get someone to take you up on this, Sparky. Best of luck, and thanks, OMV, for submitting this gem.

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10 thoughts on “548: You Feed It, It’s Yours

  1. A community cat?
    Everybody takes turns?
    A semi-pet?
    You only pet half the cat?
    That’s a good idea. I suggest you only pet the top half. I’m guessing Sparky’s neighbor pet the bottom half and pulled back a stump. Now he’s ticked so he trapped the cat.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And the sign said, “ANYONE CAUGHT TRESPASSING WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT.” So I jumped over the fence and yelled at the heartless prick, “HEY, WHAT GIVES YOU THE..”.BLAM!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And now for something completely semi-serious.
    This community cat is likely a stray. Instead of leaving the cat in the trap until it dies, the neighbor should take it to a shelter so someone could adopt the poor thing. Or Sparky could call an animal shelter and let them go after his neighbor for animal cruelty. Does Australia not have resources?

    Okay, that was more serious than semi-serious.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just so you know. You’re not anonymous when you jump the fence. Unless you jump it at night…and there are no motion activated flood lights…and no security cameras…and no rabid kinkajous patrolling the perimeter.

    Liked by 1 person

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