1500 LB. ALUMINUM ATV/MOTORCYCLE JACK/LIFT ALMOST UNUSED – $100
ONLY USED TO MOVE 3 TRANSMISSIONS TO STORAGE SHELVES. STILL IN PERFECT CONDITION. $179 NEW.
Please stop shouting about your almost new lift! Your grandma used it when you weren’t looking to put a new aerial on her roof. Your cousin used it to pick limes from the neighbors’ trees. And your sister used it to get her things back from that no-good jerk she dated for a year. But other than that, it’s in perfect condition.
Welcome To Fabulous Sparkyville 
Funny how most sales sights do not have an “almost used” sales category.
It’s like it’s near universal that things are either Used or Not Used.
Imagine that.
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Alas, poor Jack, I almost knew him well
Look, Horatio, upon these bearings
Where great weights once sprung,
O, now, where doth that glee, that shine
That showroom finish now reside.
Pray, good sir, how long hath this
Lain here in clay?
Why but a score, ir mayhap a fortnight
Tis as if new, Great Sire.
O Horatio, but twere in original
Boxing, unto havin instructions,
Such Jack might yet gallop, err
Roll across shop floor
Once again.
Here, gravedigger, a farthing for your time
And dubloons for the Jack
Lest bent Ophelia drown it, too.
[Exeunt]
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The jack is used
Only barely we are told
Please buy retail price.
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