Free Couch With Delivery
size / dimensions: 90″ x 37″ x 31″
As shown in the title, this couch could be in your living room for free! The couch itself is in great condition, and we are offering free delivery within an applicable distance simply because we are going to move really soon.
Submitter NinjaChow says “Free delivery because Sparky doesn’t want you to know where to return the haunted couch.” This couch is cleverly patterned so you can’t see the aunty stains. Also if he delivers, you can’t tell the drug-sniff dogs where to find the real dealer. So many reasons for delivery, and in a hurry to move is only one of them. Thanks, NinjaChow! This will be your week.
Welcome To Fabulous Sparkyville 
Just what has to be delivered to be paid with a couch?
Pizza guy is going to want cash.
This sounds like the sort of slippery deal where you get stuck with a couch. And probably a haunted one at that.
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Pickles had a plan. They’d hide in the couch and get someone to take it away . . .
Niw, to get Winston to finish typing the CL ad before to stoners got home . . .
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Take the awful couch
We will deliver, promise
Just take it away.
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Out! Out, dam sofs!
Curse that freezer
Who would have thought it would
Defrost so much
Such ugly witness, divan, seeming so mute
Yet pernicious pattern cowers ever more
Out, foul couch, get thee from my sight!
Ah, for sooth, set Duncan to deliver
The thing away anon and from all sight
[Exeunt]
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The couch came back.
It didn’t stay away.
The couch came back on
The very next day.
The couch came back.
It didn’t want to roam.
The very next day
it was home sweet home.
You have to wonder what other tactics Sparky tried (and failed) to get rid of it.
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