Large tree
Need gone ASAP
Sparky is a man or woman of few words, and fewer ideas. Get the fake tree off the porch ASAP as quickly as possible. Take it out of the box? Nonsense. But how are people going to know what it is? Well, it says so in the ad and on the box, doesn’t it?
Ralph submitted this one and wishes us all a Merry Christmas and Happy Boxing Day!
Welcome To Fabulous Sparkyville 
Wait, we are meant to take Spark’s word? How in a six sides octagon are we to do that?
The lower bos says “x mass tree bottom” but there is no indication of the contents of the upper box. If could be a fern. Or a Palm. Why, even a Larch!
How are we to know?
We also have the dilemma of just what are in the boxes. An artificial tree? A formerly living tree? A pile of pinecones for an Ikea tree?
And given sparkii speeling, this could be a troll, too. Who will be cranky for having been stuffed into boxes and discarded on to the porch.
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Boxes filled not with xmas cheer
But arboreal terror we fear
Instead of treat, a trick, this e’en
As worse we have seen
In unhallowed CL pages past
To leave us aghast.
Get thee behind me, O Sparky
Let us have our holiday!
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To the Tree! To the Tree!
Or fill it up with our CL dread.
In time of peace, nothing so begets
A holiday as cheer and not.a.lions.
But, in time of CL, to screw up the viasage
In semblance of Orc or Troll
And hulk, lurking on Porch.
And hence, we retreat, to the armored
Embrace of dear Harfleur
There to bedazzle in Yule spirits
[Exeunt]
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